The World’s Worst Commercials

In this fetid installment of Philomathicphobophile, we will purvey the most revolting coprolithic gems that global plutocracy can offer. Abandon all hope… and laugh until you break down into a sobbing despondent disillusioned mess.

To add your own worst commercial choice[s], leave a URL to the advertisement  in the comments or elsewhere — along with a short diatribe — and revel in catharsis. If your posted ad isn’t in English, please try to include subtitles.

Remember that the uploaders of these videos are not necessarily supporters of the messages behind these messages; if you think the spot was vile, give the uploaders some credit for spreading the information.

The World’s Worst Commercials

#1: “The Fox Strikes Again”

My nomination for the #1 spot is from — drum roll, please — McDonald’s. Have you kissed ass today? I’m kissin’ it. The good time, great taste of ass. It’s what I eat and what I do. It’s ass tonight. It’s what we’re made of. The celebrities eat it.

#2: Every Insurance Commercial Ever

BUY PHONE CONTRACTS, NOT INTERNETS. CHICKS ARE DUMB. MARRY AND REPRODUCE. THE MARKET CRASH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PANDEMIC DELUGE OF SUBPRIME LOAN ADVERTISING. OBEY. CONSUME. THEY LIVE, WE SLEEP.

#3: Luxury Car Ads

“Aggression in its most elegant form” has taken a bit of flak, but it doesn’t even stand out in the crowd. Mention these ads at your local dealership to get a free bumper sticker!

#4: Lost [PSA]

Hey kiddies! Tired of spending all your time in a mandatory government daycare, learning how to stuff a suit and pretend bullshit is just the greatest thing in the world? Remember not to leave yourself behind! Yeah, fight that escapism!